Uncaged Wallflower- Extended Edition Read online

  Like my beautiful brain

  and big heart.

  -I’m made up of love and kindness

  She made art

  from the parts of her

  that were broken.

  She finds beauty in chaos.

  We are all works in progress.

  The first draft of a book.

  The blueprints of a house.

  The child learning to read.

  We are all works in progress.

  We choose to finish writing out

  a story untold,

  building a house out of

  bricks and wood

  that once started out as ideas

  on paper,

  and reading chapter books

  with ease late into the night.

  We are all works in progress.

  Slowly but surely coming together.

  We are the ones who never give up.

  I put honey in

  my bitter tea to make it

  a little sweeter,

  if only I could do

  the same with you.

  -poetry can be honey to your tea

  You are a broken

  bone that needs to heal.

  Let my words be the cast

  you wear to

  return you

  to your best form.

  There are many

  types of people who get

  together for coffee.

  Some who gossip

  about friends as they

  sip up the foam

  from their espresso.

  Some who get together

  and talk about

  how they are accomplishing

  their dreams while

  their coffee

  sits and gets cold.

  Which one would you be?

  I Am My Own Competition

  The person I was last year

  is not the person I am this year.

  I am always in a competitive game.

  A faster,

  better,

  stronger mentality.

  Not competing with anyone

  except for the girl I was yesterday.

  Love Me Big

  I am not a 4 a.m. phone call

  when no one else is awake.

  I am a 5 p.m. knock at the door

  after you sat in rush hour traffic

  just to tell me you love me.

  Use Your Voice

  There are so many beautiful people on

  this earth that I won’t ever have the

  privilege of meeting,

  but know that your voice

  holds the power to

  impact the masses.

  Dreams

  Be your dreams;

  don’t talk about them.

  Don’t see them as out of reach.

  Don’t mock them.

  Don’t allow others to bring

  your dreams down.

  Live, and breathe your dreams.

  I am no longer the one

  falling apart.

  I am the one walking around

  trying to pick up

  everyone else’s pieces.

  -I want you to be happy

  I didn’t wait around for

  you to bring your

  portion to the table.

  I set the scene tonight

  for me and good company

  and you were not invited.

  When I break you down

  to the simplest form,

  like an acoustic song,

  I find you the most beautiful.

  I know that

  the opposite ends

  of magnets

  attract and attach

  to one another.

  Positive + Negative.

  But I can guarantee that

  won’t work for you and me.

  -positive + positive

  I told myself that I deserve the best,

  so that is what I set out for.

  Never settling for anything less

  just to fit into the

  cookie cutter mold.

  Because of that all my,

  “crazy” dreams,

  are coming to fruition.

  You deserve the best too.

  -no one can believe in you more than yourself

  Dreams are meant to be chased

  not buried in fear.

  -get running

  I’m still learning

  to love myself more

  each day.

  You are not alone on

  your self-love journey.

  I have changed a lot over

  the last year and a half.

  I have grown,

  learned,

  and expanded who I am.

  If we no longer align,

  it is what it is.

  This physical life

  you lead here on earth

  is supposed to be

  your time to make

  your impact on the world.

  Don’t let things like limitations

  stop you from leading

  your best life here.

  I am taxiing down a runway

  that has been going on

  far too long.

  I am looking for a sign

  to take off,

  but I am starting to think

  I should stop worrying

  about a sign

  and just fly.

  Beauty Comes In All Forms

  Learn to be your own

  beautiful self while also

  recognizing that there are many

  other people who carry

  beauty too.

  There is no need

  for competition.

  Here you are, 23

  with your dream career,

  dream partner in life,

  dream mindset.

  You showed

  your 16-year-old self,

  just how wrong

  she was.

  -I showed you

  If you call to the Universe

  and tell it

  you are ugly,

  you are tired,

  you are sick,

  you are broken,

  you are poor,

  you are lazy,

  you are bad.

  The Universe will echo

  what it hears.

  If you call to the Universe

  and tell it,

  you are beautiful,

  you are woke,

  you are healthy,

  you are strong,

  you are wealthy,

  you are good.

  The Universe will echo

  what it hears.

  Don’t you see,

  the Universe is giving you

  what you emit.

  Be more cautious of your words.

  What happened to that

  five-year-old dreamer

  that lived inside of you?

  The doctor,

  the dentist,

  the lawyer,

  the singer.

  Who made you forget

  about those dreams?

  Who made you feel like

  you couldn’t be those things?

  He says he likes the dimples

  on your face,

  but does he love the ones

  on your thighs

  just as much?

  -you are cute in every way

  Sizes

  I would rather be

  my size ten

  with a mind that loves

  my body,

  instead of my size four

  that beat up my body.

  One day we will

  look back on the days

  that we could barely afford

  99 cent tacos,

  or more than a couple

  gallons of gas.

  The days we sat on

  folding chairs in our

  living room watching

  a TV with four channels.

  One da
y we will tuck our kids

  in bed in rooms much bigger

  than ours ever were.

  And thank God every day

  because we knew we could get

  here.

  If I asked you

  all the things

  that you love about

  yourself,

  how long would

  our conversation be?

  You wanted a succulent

  that could be left

  on the shelf for weeks

  without needing any effort.

  But I am a rose in a garden

  that needs maintaining,

  and tending to my needs

  was too much work for you.

  I used to be composed of

  “maybe”

  and “I’m sorry,”

  out of fear of commitment

  or being an inconvenience.

  But now, I will tell you

  straight as it is,

  and only apologize

  if I truly did

  something wrong.

  I know you say

  that I will be nothing

  without you,

  but I am already

  slipping into

  a cloak of invisibility

  with you.

  -it’s time to break free

  No emotion is permanent.

  You don't always have

  to be happy

  to be okay.

  Sometimes being sad

  is just what

  your mind needs

  in the moment.

  -it’s alright to cry

  Flowers grow back

  even after the harshest winters,

  you will too.

  It’s funny how people love

  the mountains,

  the flowers,

  and trees.

  Things that come

  in all different sizes.

  But for some reason,

  we see beauty in people

  who are shorter than the trees,

  and skinner than the mountains.

  When really everyone

  who is tall,

  short,

  round,

  square,

  are all just a beautiful part of

  nature we have yet to appreciate.

  Be above the hate you see.

  The hate you feel.

  The hate you give.

  Be above the hate

  that is standing tall.

  Today, do you for.

  Don’t wear what

  you think others will like.

  Don’t talk about

  what you think others

  want to hear.

  Do for you today.

  Socialize In Real Life

  Focus more time on building

  the relationships you have

  in your real life

  and put the social media

  relationships on the

  back burner.

  Don’t let your online life control

  how you live your life

  outside of a screen.

  You are missing so much.

  It’s the middle of fall.

  The temperature has dipped

  below a bone-chilling 40 degrees.

  I have on my big gray sweater that

  I bought back in the 12 grade.

  The one I wore as a safety

  blanket for when my anxiety

  would creep in.

  I can still run my thumbs

  over the cuffs of the sleeves,

  to the places I used to chew at

  out of eagerness.

  It’s small moments like these

  that remind me of

  how far I have come.

  How I now just wear this sweater

  to keep warm and not because

  I saw it as my escape.

  I know we all

  hate the days

  when the sun disappears

  in the early hours of the evening.

  Just remember, like us,

  everything needs a break

  once and awhile.

  Does he text you,

  “good morning (insert nickname),”

  every morning?

  Does he praise you for

  your victories

  and hold your hand through

  your sorrows?

  Are your success’

  as important as his?

  Does he make you feel safe?

  Don’t allow yourself to think

  that you only deserve half of

  those things,

  or one of them.

  You deserve them all.

  Nothing should be forced.

  He should love you naturally.

  Forget trying to impress

  the rest of the world,

  the first person you need to

  impress is yourself.

  -do you know how amazing you are?

  You Are Magnificent

  Take yourself to breakfast,

  treat yourself

  to freshly picked flowers.

  Go on a date with yourself

  and learn about just how

  magnificent you are.

  Women carry

  the most beauty in

  their thoughts.

  Where is the song

  about her gorgeous

  mind and not how

  her humps look?

  Anxiety is the panic

  you feel when

  someone doesn’t answer

  your phone call after

  five tries.

  Are they okay?

  Did they lose their phone?

  Are they mad at me?

  Did someone take them?

  Are they sick?

  Anxiety is never rationalizing

  that they could have fallen asleep

  or walked away from their phone.

  Anxiety is worse case scenario.

  A flower missing a few petals

  is still just as beautiful

  as the flower with an

  abundance of petals

  but is pulled out at the roots.

  -beauty comes in every form

  If you were a flower in a garden,

  which one would you be?

  I would be a sunflower

  because they stand tall,

  need the sun’s rays,

  and room to breathe.

  Maybe you are waiting for Saturday,

  or summer time,

  or New Year's Eve

  to start living out your dream.

  But I started in the middle of debt

  and anxiety and I was victorious.

  -no time is ever perfect

  It isn’t about waiting for

  life to get better.

  It is about believing that

  life is the best it is right now.

  That is when you see

  the transformation

  in your life.

  I don’t want you to think

  that I am perfect,

  because I am not.

  I cry,

  scream,

  and fear

  just like you.

  -I’m human

  Run with me

  through fields filled

  with prosperity

  and happiness.

  I promise you will

  not miss the

  barren desert

  you once called home.

  I know that last thing

  I would have wanted to hear

  was, “things will get better.”

  But they do.

  They get better,

  you get stronger,

  and you learn what life

  was truly trying to offer you

  was the experience you needed

  to conquer any demons

  who may cross your path again.

  I hope my future daughter

  doesn’t h
ave to resort to

  social media to find her worth,

  and vent about her problems.

  I want her to know

  she always has me to come to.

  Helping others is

  nice of you,

  but I noticed

  the bags under your eyes

  and the twitching

  from over-indulging in caffeine.

  You need to be kind

  to yourself too.

  The imagination of a child

  stems far beyond

  that of an adult.

  That is because

  they haven’t learned yet

  that there’d be

  outside opinions tainting

  their dreams.

  So, be the child in you,

  and make your imagination

  a place in your reality.

  Flood this world

  with so much love

  that the hate can

  barely stay breathing.

  I may be a quiet person

  but it is because I only

  speak words that are

  true to me,

  and not words

  I feel forced into saying

  to fit into the conversation.

  I put the girl I was to rest

  3 years ago today.

  I don't mourn her loss

  because she was never

  alive anyway.

  –born again