Uncaged Wallflower- Extended Edition Read online

  from most of my peers.

  Be open to different things.

  Bumps in the road

  may actually be

  exactly the alteration

  you need.

  Change is inevitable,

  but it is up to you

  to grow with it

  and make it as ideal

  as you can.

  I was the candle that stayed lit

  even in the

  d

  o

  w

  n

  pour of rain.

  The flame, never getting weak

  from outside pressure.

  I will never decrease my fire

  that everyone tries to put out.

  They are just afraid the light

  inside of me might destroy them.

  My Path To You

  In life,

  you are given

  paths to choose.

  Some are perfectly paved

  with flowers

  and directions

  at each bend.

  Others have

  overgrown grass

  with dirt

  and no definite map.

  Each brings forth

  adventures,

  excitement,

  or dead ends.

  Follow each path

  with passion

  because you don’t know

  where you could be lead.

  Of all the paths

  I have gone down

  with bumps,

  sharp turns,

  dead ends,

  and flowers,

  my favorite was the one

  that lead me to you.

  Make a wish on a dandelion.

  Blow your dreams into the wind.

  The Universe will answer,

  you just have to believe.

  -thank you, Universe

  Do you ever have that

  feeling deep in your stomach

  of worrying about having

  to say hello and goodbye

  to people as you pass?

  Like there is no proper moment

  to do so and that you might

  stumble over your words.

  Or what if they don’t

  say anything back?

  Or what if they are

  overly friendly and

  want to chat?

  Or what if they laugh?

  -social anxiety

  Cleanse

  You can wash the dirt off of your body,

  watch as it flows down the drain.

  You can wash out your mind

  and watch the world

  around you change.

  Some things happen

  in less obvious ways.

  That doesn’t mean they

  aren’t still happening.

  You aren’t ugly

  because you have some fat.

  You aren’t pretty

  because you show more bone.

  You are more than just your shell.

  You are your soul.

  Surround yourself with people

  who don’t just ask

  how you are doing.

  Surround yourself with people

  who make an effort to

  make sure they are part of

  the reason you are doing so well.

  Villian

  Who told you to be quiet?

  Who told you

  the best place to be

  was off in the corner of the room

  as far away from

  human interaction

  as possible?

  Who made you feel like

  your words didn’t matter?

  Who laughed at the thoughts that

  you shared

  after building up

  the courage to speak?

  I’m telling you to not be quiet.

  Be loud and be known.

  Talk to the people who seem

  louder than you.

  Share the thoughts dancing in

  your brain with confidence

  and ease.

  Whoever told you

  that you didn’t matter

  and neither did your opinion,

  I’m encouraging you

  to be the hero

  taking over that villain.

  No More Silence

  If you feel like you have to be silent,

  let me be the first to say you don’t.

  And if you want to be quiet,

  let me be the first to say that is okay.

  But, make sure your silence is your choice

  and not because you are scared

  of what your voice may say.

  It’s the small steps

  that guide you to

  the biggest dreams.

  You just have to

  start walking.

  Forgiveness

  I used to hold grudges

  like a child clinging to their mother

  on the first day of kindergarten.

  I couldn’t let them go.

  The things people said to me

  were stored in individual files

  in my brain marked with their name.

  The things I hate file bigger than

  the things I love.

  People piling up like scattered

  notes on a desk.

  The grudges I held becoming

  a dark mess.

  I started organizing my thoughts.

  Filtering out the bad

  and pouring in the good.

  I learned that I just needed to

  forgive and move on.

  Even if the people who caused

  my negative thoughts never know,

  I no longer have a grudge against them,

  because I had made forgiveness my home.

  You say you want

  to explore the world

  but you have barely

  explored yourself.

  100%

  You need to realize that

  you deserve the best.

  If the “love” you receive

  is nothing but deception

  and unpredictability,

  only to be masked by your

  wide eyes

  and big heart,

  please know you can leave.

  Don’t use comfort as a reason to stay.

  No relationship should ever be a

  90/10 type of love.

  Find someone who gives it their all

  and matches your efforts.

  Look at the relationship

  you have right now.

  If they aren’t giving their 100%,

  it’s time for it to end.

  Killing Fear

  I used to be confined to the comfort,

  of my house or bed.

  The places I thought couldn’t hurt me,

  where I hid instead.

  From people who took too many glances,

  or the chance of having actual fun.

  Fear used to consume my whole body,

  but I killed fear with freedom

  and now fear and I are done.

  I now use my bed for sleeping,

  and my home as a quick stop

  after a busy day.

  My head creates thoughts of happiness

  instead of playing the same scene over

  and over in pain.

  Spend time in your mind

  with silence surrounding you.

  Filter out all the outside

  noise that is trying so hard

  to change your direction.

  You can have

  one hundred friends

  and still feel so alone

  on your venture.

  Strive for friends

  who call you at midnight

  on your birthday,

  show up at your house

  unexpectedly just to take you

  out to lunch,

  or let you cry to them

 
when you lose

  an important person.

  Have a group that will

  run with you through

  any season of life.

  Stars

  Out of all the stars,

  you were the one he looked toward

  at night.

  Never knowing that to him, you shone

  brighter than the rest.

  Even if there was an overabundance

  of bigger or brighter stars,

  you were always the one his eyes fell to.

  The light he trusted would guide him.

  The one he searched for even on

  the most overcast of evenings.

  I bet if you didn’t spend time

  comparing your qualities to the others,

  you would have felt his eyes

  always locked on you.

  But remember, he is the one who

  knew you shone,

  even before you did yourself.

  It’s Okay To Ask Why

  I was envious of the

  honor roll students

  as I stared at my C’s.

  I was the student

  who needed to ask,

  “what” or, “why”

  instead of doing the

  task with ease.

  I later learned there is

  nothing wrong with being

  the student who raises

  your hand with a question

  instead of the answer.

  Bad moods live dormant in

  our bodies waiting for

  outside influences to fuel

  their intensity.

  Learn to control

  the flames so they

  don’t spread like wildfire.

  I have awakened my soul

  in such a profound way,

  that it takes a lot for me

  to not get bored in mundane

  conversations.

  - soul searching

  I spent too many years

  allowing people

  to pick me up

  carelessly, and bruise me.

  I am a fragile peach

  who finally found someone who

  will hold me with gentle hands.

  Forgiving someone

  who has never apologized

  is the epitome of being

  the bigger person.

  Let go of the anger.

  It will set you free.

  Your monsters don’t get to live

  eternally inside of you

  if you put them to rest.

  -lock them up, throw away the key

  It is bittersweet to

  put a friendship to rest

  when the person once had a big

  impact on your life,

  but no longer supports

  the person you are

  blossoming into.

  I promise you,

  when you leave behind those

  who bring negativity

  into your life,

  many positive friends will

  come pouring in.

  -out with the old, in with the new

  Express Her Problems

  She grew up thinking

  strength meant not

  being vulnerable.

  Putting on her best poker face.

  She fought the, “I love myself,

  no, I hate myself” blues.

  She never understood the people

  who would cry at movies.

  How could they dare show

  such emotion in public?

  Didn’t they know sobs like that

  were meant only for their

  pillow?

  She thought she was strong

  because she didn’t show her fears.

  Didn’t talk about her problems.

  Because, if she didn’t talk about

  her issues, then they didn’t exist,

  right?

  That girl wasn’t strong.

  She was broken

  and torn, a bird slowly

  having each feather plucked.

  Soon she was going to crash and burn.

  She didn’t need to bottle up the problems,

  because problems weren’t meant

  to be kept in her head.

  One small shake of that bottle

  and the explosion of emotions

  will be unstoppable.

  Pop the Champagne

  I wasn’t meant to have a life

  filled with 8 am wake-up calls

  and 5 pm drives home

  during rush hour.

  I was meant to have

  a life filled with

  unexpected mornings that lead to

  unforgettable nights.

  And even if right now I eat cheap

  take out three nights a week,

  one day I will be toasting

  with overpriced champagne

  to a life I knew

  I was meant to lead.

  I was a people watcher.

  Looking on with

  eyes that longed

  for the lives I was watching

  unfold in front of me.

  The lives that looked

  so perfect on the surface.

  But if I pushed back her

  hair, I would see bruises

  on her neck.

  If I shifted my eyes to

  the right, I would see

  a boyfriend’s grip on her

  extra tight.

  And maybe she was looking

  back at me,

  with eyes that longed

  to be where I stood.

  Safe.

  The problem with being

  sentimental

  is that the breakup

  is only the beginning

  of the hurt.

  Replacing his sweatshirt

  that you wore

  on chilly days,

  that smelled like

  hugs and bar soap,

  was like ripping out

  another chunk of your heart.

  But I promise you,

  the next sweatshirt will

  feel better,

  smell better,

  love better,

  than the one before.

  -you will find the one

  I put my feet in the grass

  and am thankful

  to know it is green,

  and soft but sometimes

  burned by the sun and crunchy.

  I am thankful to know

  what it feels like to be

  a living thing needing

  so little,

  to happily survive.

  If I could,

  I would dip my fingers

  in the sun,

  and smear its brightness

  around the world.

  -we need it

  Wandering Soul

  You have a wandering soul

  that is searching for a place

  to call home.

  Flying with the wings of

  your heart.

  Looking for a location

  to land on.

  For an attentive spirit to

  capture your bad thoughts

  and turn them into

  healthy ones.

  But his arms spread wide open

  aren’t a place to come in for

  landing.

  He wants to listen in order to

  further his advantage

  of getting into more than just

  your mind.

  Your wandering soul needs

  to find a home within yourself.

  Take time to rest and glide.

  Letting People Go

  It’s hard to let go of people.

  We anchor ourselves to their flesh.

  We grow to love their smile,

  laugh, sense of humor,

  and the familiarity

  of their presence.

  It’s not until we start to do the

  l
ittle things that we feel the pain

  of their absence.

  Like late afternoon card games

  with an empty seat,

  lunches at the place you both loved

  but can no longer enjoy,

  and one-sided conversations

  with them even though they have

  a lot to say back.

  A glimpse at life without them is sad.

  But you know they don’t find home

  here anymore,

  so feel free to let their spirit fly.

  They say, “you look amazing,”

  but they can’t see inside your head.

  -looks are deceiving

  I hope one day you realize

  the only enemy you should

  give attention to

  is the one inside your head.

  -you are your own worst enemy

  We get caught up in the idea

  that the only way

  we can be fully happy is

  if our bodies look like

  what we’ve always dreamt

  for them to be.

  But didn’t you ever hear

  of all the people who go broke,

  even after winning the lottery?

  You can pluck me

  like a dandelion and

  hope I never come back.

  But I always do.

  -I am a beautiful weed

  Have confidence in the shape

  of your silhouette,

  the thoughts you share,

  and the blood in your veins.

  The person picking apart

  every little flaw

  is not them,

  it’s you.

  -confidence is beautiful

  Nailed

  1 nail in each foot.

  Pinning you in place.

  No pivot,

  no escape.

  Take out your nails,

  with the claws you enable.

  The scars will heal.

  Holes will be filled.